"Fast" Food

Another post by Gary . . . .

Since Italy is the home of the "slow food" movement, I suppose it shouldn't be too surprising that fast food here doesn't really work as expected. Yesterday, we decided to take Aubrey over to the McDonald's by the Spanish Steps to give everyone a little reminder of home and to show him one of the most unusual McDonald's restaurants in the world. When McDonald's first came to Italy, the government required them to build a restaurant that conformed with the local architecture and design. So you have a McDonald's that has vaulted ceilings, marble pillars, an occasional ancient sculpture. It's as if McDonald's had been built in Disney's "Ancient Rome Land."

Here are some reasons it's not really "fast" food here. First of all, the area of the Spanish steps is probably the hardest area to reach from our apartment. We have to take a bus to the metro and then the metro to the Spagna station where there is a brief walk to the Spanish Steps and the McDonald's. The bus was late (and extremely crowded). Then we had to transfer to the train. By the time we got there, it had taken us over an hour. (Aubrey is still getting used to the idea that it can take an hour to go a few miles.) We probably could have walked there in about the same time.

Then there is the typical chaos that comes with trying to stand in line, even at McDonald's. The trademark of McDonald's is that they are the same everywhere. Everyone gets two pickles on their hamburger everywhere in the world. Of course, there are some adaptions for local decor and menu. The McDonald's in Germany serves beer, for example. And the McDonald's in Laie, Hawaii has an island theme and serves taro pies. And everyone at McDonald's is supposed to speak English, and they do, at least the English of the menu. But that doesn't mean you can always communicate. We ended up with diet drinks instead of regular drinks, one extra packet of mayonaisse (which you have to pay for here), and the large meal without asking for it. And then we got short changed 20 cents. We had to wait "three minutes" for two of our sandwiches. I took the trays to the table and came straight back, and they had already forgotten that I was even there. After they tried to charge me again for the sandwiches, I explained that I had already paid. But then they had given away the sandwiches, so I still had to wait "three minutes."

Also, you're supposed to get a free glass with each combo meal. Sometimes they do, sometimes not. Once we ordered four meals and got two glasses. Another time we ordered four meals and got four glasses. Last night, we got five meals and no glasses (not that we really wanted any). But the person just next to us got glasses. I guess it just depends on whether the person helping you remembers to give you your glasses or not. I haven't seen any pattern yet.

Later that evening, AnneMarie asked for melon gelato (melone) and ended up with candied chestnut (merrone glaces). She made a yucky face because she thought it tasted like dates.

It's frustrating, but there isn't much you can do about it. Italy is just inefficient. This McDonald's also offers WiFi, but I would be more surprised to find that it works than that it doesn't. It's always pleasantly surprising when the ATM/card reader/ticket machine actually works. Rick Steves predicts that only about 2/3 of the public phones in Italy actually work. The Italians often dismiss such things as an "accidente," no one's fault really--these things just happen. And you have to adopt that attitude or these little things would drive you crazy.

And some days, that is a pretty short drive.