Not a literal flood of water, but more like a flood of emotions (and tears, which I guess are water--whatever)
I've been on BYU campus many times since May 1, 2010. A couple of visits were more difficult than others, but boy, last night takes the cake. Out of the blue it hit me like a ton of bricks. I'm so glad it was dark and I could sit in my car and cry without anyone seeing me. And then I had to pull it together and not look like I'd just spent the last several minutes crying in my car.
I don't like being lonely in the middle of a huge crowd, but that's just what I was last night. Thank goodness for texting--having a silly conversation with my daughter was just what I needed.
That and a good night's sleep. I'm doing much better today.
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Thinking of you and sending lots of love...
ReplyDeleteI wish I would have read this before I got to sit by you tonight. I also wish I could take away those painful moments and the loneliness. All I can do it remind you that you are definitely not alone. You are loved by so many. Maybe in time, BYU will be a place that conjures up all the happy memories you have and causes you to smile and laugh. Until then, we'll be there to smile and laugh with you. Love you lots!
ReplyDeleteSending you a really big hug and a shoulder to cry on any time you need it!
ReplyDeleteI agree--a crowd is the worst place to feel lonely. Here's hoping the flood gates open at manageable times in the future. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling. I never felt really alone at church, but when I went to the temple, even with friends, I felt terribly alone.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Dad